Dear People in the Newsroom Team,
I hope all is well with you and your dependents families. This is just a quick note to let you know that fifty-nine of you are fired will be pursing new opportunities elsewhere. The four of you who are not fired staying with Crock, the world’s media leader, will be responsible for running the newsroom, including covering the news, writing the news, taking pictures of the news, and editing the news.
And speaking of editing, big thanks to my bride of twenty-eight years, Julie, (Mrs. CEO!) for reading, and editing this memo. She took time out on her flight back from Acapulco to fine tune my work. ( I know, right, how many vacations does any one person need? Apparently eleven a year isn’t enough!)Thanks, Jules! Hugs and kisses. P.S. Honey – Not sure I hit the right key to get rid of all those words you didn’t like, but I think it worked.
All of us in the executive suite I know this is painful news. And right now you’re probably thinking about drinking wondering what these changes mean. It means the four of you left behind selected to stay will guide the Herald Gazette Times News Bugle into a new Bleak Golden Age of Digital Journalism.
Hopefully, this restructuring of the paper doesn’t come as too much of a shock to you. I mean, did anyone really think we could make much from those annoying digital ads? Lately, we have all seen the research questioning the effectiveness of digital advertising, and our competitors have taken similar drastic steps.
The changes at Crock are part of a company wide-cost savings program. I personally have trimmed my salary by $365 a year, a dollar a day. I’m not sure why, but one of the image consultants said it would look good. I’ll make it up by paying my landscapers less. It was a decision I made after careful thought and consideration.
Before I outline the exciting opportunities ahead, I want to take a second moment to acknowledge the work contributions of those fired leaving us. Chances are the person on your right, and left, have been sacked, many left with no visible means of supporting their families. As in any significant restructuring, many of your treasured colleagues have been affected.
Take it easy. Please rest assured, Crock will pay these people those leaving for the rest of the day, and tomorrow a period of time. In addition, benefits will be extended for the same period of time, with the $43,000 individual and $71,000 family deductibles remaining enforced in place.
While the newly unemployed leave us with their file boxes of belongings, let those of you left behind turn and face your digital journalism future with enthusiasm. While it is an understandably sad day, it is also an exciting new start for those charged with bringing the newspaper into the future.
The Herald Gazette Times News Bugle will continue its great tradition of aggressive news coverage of Town City Hall, the schools, and the local constable police. (It’s police, sweetie. Constable is what we have at the summer house. Police in the city!)
I have full confidence that the four survivors of the layoffs remaining staff will carry the newspaper to even greater heights in the future. We’ll continue to ask the tough questions, hold the powers that be accountable, and uphold the standards of excellence that have always defined the Central City Caller Herald Gazette Times News Bugle.
These tumultuous times call for us to carry on in the spirit of the giants of the journalism industry such as Woolworth and Goldstein Woodward and Bernstein.
I close with more exciting news. Crock has reimagined the newsroom of the future. It is really more of a news space, than a newsroom. The news space is located in what used to be the paper’s break room. There is a single desk in there for the four of you to share. Maybe you can do a little sign up sheet kind of thing to reserve time. We will institute a start-of-the-art, workspace scheduling system to ensure things run smoothly.
The old newsroom is now a WeWork space.
Thank you for your patience as we transition the Herald Gazette Times News Bugle to a leaner, more nimble, trusted source of news for our readers.