I put aside my worry over what Lars might do to retaliate. Right now I had to make the most of my time with Stevens. The pack was especially contentious today, with lots of jockeying. I knew my prized position at the front could change any second.
“What I’m looking at with the Amalgamated deal is much more favorable terms,” I said. “And, I think I may be able to partner with Netflix. I have a friend over there who’s interested.”
“Ohhh, Netflix, that would be sweet,” Stevens said.
I saw the big Office Politics Scoreboard flash a one for me.
“Netflix is big, big, big right now,” Stevens said.
“Huge,” I said. “Real hard to get a deal done. Everyone wants some kind of tie-in with them.”
I was riding the wave. I had Stevens’ attention and was determined to hang on to it for as long as possible. Then I heard a voice from the other side.
“Did you catch the latest show they have? The one with…”
Son of a gun, someone was muscling in on my Netflix conversation with the Big Guy. I looked across and was shocked. It was Wilson. He had snuck up on the left side and stole the conversation.
I wondered what happened to Andy the biker. Wilson must have pinched him off the pack and left him on the sidewalk somewhere.
Stevens increased the pace now. He liked to warm up first at a leisurely pace on these walking meetings, then turn it up a bit to see who could keep up. There was a good dose of “Lord of the Flies” in his management style.
There was a commotion on the other side and I saw Stacey back at the front. She had disposed of Wilson.
“Any ideas on how better to engage on social for the self-hydrating unit?” she asked.
One of the oldest tricks, ask the boss for his opinion on how you should do your job. I wouldn’t stoop that low, unless I had to.
Stevens nodded and said, “The water bottle?”
“Yes,” Stacey said.
She was holding her phone up by his mouth, recording everything he said. We looked like a pack of media jackals surrounding a politician. Stevens ate it up, gave her question some thought, then answered.
“I think we should highlight the benefits of the self-hydrating unit, primarily that it allows you to drink water.”
“I was thinking the same thing,” Stacey said. “I’ll put some thoughts around that.”
Lars flashed past me, running up to the next corner. He was plotting something.
Stacey was about to ask another thought provoking question when Andy raced past her, bike shoes clacking on the sidewalk. He turned around and started walking backwards, determined to have his say.
“How often do you ride boss? What’s your bike, one of those BMC Teammachines?
He had lost his mind? He was walking backwards on the sidewalk. There was no way he was going to last. Then I saw what he was doing, he was using the little dentisty-mirror thing to watch behind him. It confirmed his genius and why he retained the title of Office Suck-Up Champ for three years running.
Past Andy, I saw Lars rolling a big metal trash basket from the corner out onto the sidewalk, directly in front of where I was going to have to walk. He was like some kind of advance tactical soldier sent to halt the enemy’s forward progress.
Then he stepped to the curb, squatted in front of a parked Smart Car and tried to lift it from the bumper. His face reddened and he gave up and slumped forward for a moment.
Our big, rollicking group made its way down the sidewalk, Andy walking backwards, Stacey with her phone in Stevens’ mouth, and Lars up ahead blockading the sidewalk in an effort to destroy me.
Stevens had won, again. It was why the man was CEO. He had pitted one against another, all under the premise of getting outdoors for some exercise and sun.
Someone came up beside me and said, “Let’s throw in together. An alliance. You block for me, and I talk to Stevens. Then we switch.”
It was Wilson. It was a good idea. We were all going to need to form alliances. Those who realized it first would be better off.
“Let’s do it,” I said.
“Hey, can I be part of it?” a voice asked.
We turned to see Ben. He was late twenties, stocky and solid. Not the brightest guy, but smart enough to know winners when he sees them. He would be useful in a blocking sense.
I looked Wilson and we nodded to one another. It was turning into “Game of Thrones.”
“Absolutely, Ben,” I said. “I want you to cross in front of Stevens, make slight, but direct contact with Andy, then turn to block Stacey. Wilson, that opens up that side for you. Ben, you cross back over here and take my spot next to Stevens. You get fifteen seconds with the man, no more.”
Up ahead, I saw Lars getting the front corner of the Smart Car onto the sidewalk. Then he scurried behind it to push it from the rear.
I gave Wilson and Ben a nod. Ben broke from us and ran a beautiful crossing pattern between Stevens and Andy. I saw his elbow jut out and nail Andy in the ribs. He continued on and there was a scuffle of some sort on the other side. Stacey yelled, her phone dropped from her hand and cracked as it hit the sidewalk.
I looked over and saw Wilson talking to Stevens. Ben crossed back to me, and gave Andy a little shove as he did to clear him out.
“Perfect,” I said.
“Thanks,” Ben said.
I looked up ahead, then looked to Ben. “How are you at moving small cars?”
“How many, and where?” he asked, then took off down the sidewalk.