The presentation included slides of a beach in Panama, mountains in Colorado, and a wide shot of Mexico City. Each one flashed on the screen at the front of the conference room for a few moments, with the Mexico City one being last and staying up as Roz spoke.
“Anyone want to guess what these pictures have in common?” she asked.
I glanced at Wilson. He had a pained, puzzled look on his face like he was trying to solve a riddle. Big Mike was across the table, checking on the ceiling tiles as if they would reveal the answer.
It was Ashley who finally got the discussion started.
“Yes,” she yelled, pumping her fist. “All places I would like to be right now.”
Roz smiled and nodded.
“And maybe you will be,” she said.
“This some kind of employee contest, or something?” I asked. “Like a big splashy post-Covid prize for employee of the month.”
“I nominate me,” Mike said, never taking his gaze off the ceiling. “Can I bring my wife and kids if I win?”
Roz ignored him, which often was the best strategy. “We’re getting a lot of push-back from people about returning to the office,” she said.
“So what, we’re going to bribe them with nice trips?” Wilson asked, outrage seeping into his voice. “When we’ve been here for months?”
Roz shook her head and said, “No, no. Not at all. This is just an idea, but I’ve been asked to look at the possibility of taking our team and making us all remote. The plan is corporate would then weasel out of our lease and save the money we pay to rent this space.”
Mike stopped looking at the ceiling and glanced across at me and shrugged. On a good day he had trouble following Roz from point A to point B. When she started talking in vague theories and ideas, the man was lost.
“And these attractive destinations are…” I said, letting it linger and hoping she would fill in at least one of the blanks.
“Well,” Roz said, “I’ll get to them in a second, but first, what’s a big downside to us all going remote for good?”
“I’d have to start cleaning the kitchen again if I work at home,” Mike said. “I hate, I mean hate, cleaning the kitchen.”
“I would have to adjust my nap schedule,” Wilson said.
“Okay,” Roz said, “all fine but not what I’m getting at. The big drawback is that it’s hard to establish and maintain employee bonds if everyone is at home, right?”
“Maybe we could do group lunches at a different house every Friday,” Wilson said. “That might help.”
“Or maybe a rotating Happy Hour,” Ashley said. “That would be cool.”
Roz waved her hands, looking to refocus everyone. “No, no,” she said, “the idea is if everyone is working from home full-time then corporate would take some of the money it saves in real estate costs and pay for extended trips for the entire team, all eighty of us, to attractive destinations, maybe even one trip a quarter. It would be part of an effort to establish and develop bonds among the team, since we won’t see each other every day if we’re remote.”
It was quiet for a moment while our little group took in the news. Wilson was nodding a kind of a happy, ‘hey, this might be fun,’ nod. Ashley was scribbling notes in what looked like a pros and cons list. Mike was fixated on the slide of Mexico City, maybe trying to wrap his head around a trip.
“Anyone know what building that is?” Mike asked, pointing at the slide. “The old one there on the left. Like a church, or something?”
Again it became apparent I had given Mike far too much credit.
“So, we all stay home, except for our four big trips a year?” I asked.
“Correct,” Roz said.
“And how long would the trips last?” I asked.
“Weeks, maybe. Or maybe just one week,” Roz said. “It all depends.”
“On?” I asked.
“How long corporate feels like paying for us to travel around.”
“Sounds good to me,” Wilson said. “Maybe we could do fun stuff like surfing, or mountain biking.”
“Maybe swimming with dolphins, or ballroom dancing,” Ashley said.
“That’s the plan,” Roz said. “It would be more elaborate versions of our old off-sites, but enjoyable. And we think the trips could boost morale and help foster a collaborative and inclusive environment.”
More silence as the idea sunk in. I was picturing high energy and enthusiasm for the first two, maybe three days. Then not so much. My train of thought was broken by Ashley.
“What if someone gets drunk?”
“I nominate me,” Mike said, apparently giving up on identifying the building in Mexico City.
Roz fiddled with her pen while trying to decide how to answer.
“Of course, there is always the potential for…”
“Getting drunk,” Mike said.
“Misbehaving,” Roz said. “But I think we have a good mature group.”
“Not from what I remember,” Wilson said.
The door opened and Andy the Suck Up burst in waving some papers.
“I got the numbers on what it would cost to take all eighty of us to Playa Venao,” he said, handing a sheet to Roz and taking a seat next to her. “I schmoozed the manager of the place pretty good when I was there and–“
“When you were there?” I asked. “You’ve been to this place in Panama?”
“Last week,” he said. “Who do you think took that picture. Pretty nice, huh?”
“I needed somebody to scout locations for possible trips,” Roz said, “and Andy graciously volunteered his time to travel to some pretty far flung, even exotic locales.”
Andy was nodding proudly. “No easy task with all the travel restrictions in some countries.”
“Can we swim with dolphins there?” Ashely asked.
“Absolutely,” Andy said, confidently.
“And drink?” Mike asked. “I mean not at the same time.”
“I read somewhere that dolphins can tell when you’re inebriated,” Wilson offered.
I looked at Roz as she closed her eyes and exhaled.
“I’m thinking maybe we just tell everyone to get back in here or they’re fired,” she said.
“Whoa, whoa,” Mike said. “I was starting to like this idea.”