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Category: Fiction/Satire

Doggone!

I came down the stairs, saw my wife and Butch standing by the door, and knew I had to at least try to put an end to this madness.

“You’re going to let him go out like that in public?” I asked, motioning toward Butch.

“Well, yes, why not?” Terri said.

“You realize it will be a source of never-ending abuse and suffering for him?”

Fight, Fight, Fight, for Old CU

From the vault. Originally appeared March 2, 2018

“Good morning, class, and welcome to the graduate business school at Corrupt University. It’s great to see so many smiling, young faces, eager to learn the tricks to success in the corporate boardroom. Oh look, a question already.”

“Your website says we’ll get a one of a kind MBA.”

If It’s News, It’s News To Us

From the vault. Originally appeared January 12, 2018

The interview went well, until it began. That was when the subject of the resume came up. But first there was a question about the job itself.

“We’re a fast growing website. This is a big spot, the one we have open,” Chet Dinkleberry, said. “You think you can handle it?”

“News editor, right? I’ve got twenty years in newspapers, and ten more at leading media websites, of course I can handle it,” Murphy said.

Reality Check

I heard a man’s voice as I walked down the hall. It came from an office up on the right.

“This decision was made after much careful, and thoughtful consideration.”

The voice sounded familiar, but I couldn’t quite place it. There was something slightly robotic about it.

“The company has taken great pains to make sure your departure, and transition to a new exciting opportunity elsewhere, go as smoothly as possible.”

Upgrading

Wilson came into my office carrying what appeared to be a large, flat screen TV monitor. He struggled to get in the door with it, and set it down gently on the carpet next to the chair that he sat down in across from me.

“What do you think?” he asked. “Pretty cool, huh?”

“I guess so,” I said, not wanting to hurt his feelings, or diminish his enthusiasm. “Got a deal on a TV at one of the neighborhood places?” I asked.

The Statement

The members of the East Podunk City Council filed into the meeting room, and immediately looked around for the coffee and doughnuts. It didn’t take long for panic to set in.

“Hey, who was supposed to pick up the coffee?” Barry Miller asked. “I got it last time.”

“I got it two times ago,” Deidre Russo said, taking her usual seat behind the table where the Council members sat.